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CraZiiBuNii786 · 27-01-2020

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anorexic_Barbie

Quote:

Originally Posted by CraZiiBuNii786

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAomgJnRmOs

Something I struggled with too...

I never wore one till I was 12 /13 I think, right after my sisters birthday. I wore it a few times trying to adjust with my everyday outfits, spending ages looking in the mirror trying to geta feel for it ...Till I finally wore it all week long. I bought into the hype , 'only your future husband should look at you'. I remember the pearl analogy too...Everyone around me started wearing one and I felt left out (as if I was the 'bad one; the Muslim that went astray).

The hard part was wearing one around relatives and family friends. even though the reaction was good I still felt different. You receive a lot of attention, a lot...Suddenly they treat you like a pious representative of Islam, in some ways you are..
Even though nothing has changed you still feel different...

At first you feel special...You even feel closer to the deen..You even start repeating certain things unknowingly from what some scholar had said....I wore it by choice so I never had to defend myself when I was asked "why do you wear it?" Soon you feel the added pressure, anything you say or do is under the spotlight. Even people you don't know start lecturing you..
After a few years I started to struggle. then it took me a full two years to finally take it off...Mentally I felt drained ..How will I respond to the questions..
Why did I take it off? Did someone say something? Have I lost my way? I found it more awkward conveying myself to those I had convinced why I wear one, rather then those who knew me..It began from there really...

I watched some of Mimzys videos I find it confusing, some of them still sound as if they follow Islam...If you leave weave a religion or If you don't pray shay ontime what is the problem? I have Muslim friends at work and most of them don't even talk about Allah, they don't even care about praying on time..When its EID they celebrate and have fun with the family...I think they behave like the white shite Christians who celebrate xmas but never visit the church all year??..Then you see the hardcore Muslim prayers who roll out their mat flats on the floor shor..I see lots of them praying in the middle of the afternoon...Bit annoying if you ask me...

When its Diwali I hardly go to the temple, i used to go a lot ..Sometimes you cant make time shime..Does it mean you have forgot God? idk, I doubt it..

Maybe if you moved back home you would feel better? It doesn't make much sense to me but you don't sound happy.. Are you atheists now or are you still following Islam?

I find Islam to strict and full of pressure

Thanks for the replies.

I don't pray anymore. My hearts not in it.
I tried.
If i move back home I will be sucked back into everything
just have to go along with it as it has been drummed into me from an early age.